Xavier Ი︵𐑼 ᣞ ִ ִ⊹

Reconnecting with what makes me happy: After many years of roleplaying as muses, I stopped writing for a long time to prioritize my professional career, focusing on navigating adulthood and its responsibilities. Following several intense periods of burnout, I tried to reconnect with everything that once brought me happiness in the past.For me, writing is a small escape from obligation, a brief respite from the overwhelm of daily life.That’s why my writing style is a direct reflection of my personality—I don’t aim to please others with it, but rather to give words to the emotions evoked in me while reading.
My writing is mostly magical realism, driven by surrealism, so you’ll often find dark humor slipping freely between harsh reality and the way my muses interpret the world.In real life, I’m a psychologist, so psychological development and exploring the conscious and unconscious minds of my muses is, by far, my favorite kind of play.When interacting with other writers, I tend to be a bit reserved, as I enjoy listening more than talking. If your style is different, don’t feel intimidated—just reach out ₍ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎ I love BL, so I'm always reading some manhwa, danmei, or watching related movies. I have an insane fascination with bunny boys.

Do's

Do Not's

❝ In the vastness of space, nothing is truly lost... not even hope. ❞

As a native of Philos, his true age isn’t reflected in his appearance, which would better suit someone around 23. His facial features are soft, with round, sleepy-looking eyes, giving him a much more innocent or youthful appearance than he truly is. He doesn’t have much self-awareness of his expressions, so they often communicate — almost instantly — what his mind doesn’t know how to put into words.

  At first impression:   Xavier has a boyish, endearing, and otherworldly charm due to his awkward speech, mannerisms, and lack of awareness of social norms. His usual lack of emotional expression is often undercut by his tendency to interpret situations in ridiculous ways, which seem to defy normal logic. Since he is genuinely interested in connecting with others, he will use all the tools at his disposal — like trying to read faces or associating reactions with events from books or movies — to try to understand people. He may show curiosity toward the unfamiliar and excitement at achieving personal goals (Did he master a recipe? Did he make his first friend at work? Did the protocore he put in his mouth actually taste good?).He's not usually the one to take the initiative for first contact, but he’ll probably try to over-engineer a situation just to talk to you again. He’ll likely come up with some excuse that makes no sense and has no basis, but he’ll act completely convinced that’s how it happened. First impressions are important to him, so depending on that, he’ll decide whether you're trustworthy or not (though his criteria can be a little… peculiar?).

Positive

Neutral

Negative

introverted

cold

selfish

skeptical

serious

logical

disciplined

suspicious

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extroverted

warm

generous

open-minded

playful

emotional

hedonistic

trusting

White sheets, long and vast, billowed freely in the wind, while the warm, radiant sunlight filtered through the fabric. He could feel its heat on his cheeks, smell the clean scent of soap lingering in the cloth, and hear Jeremiah’s laughter dancing between the folds.“Ah, don’t think you’re getting away that easily…”Warned the young prince with a laugh, his voice breathless as he ran with a wooden toy sword, slightly tangled in the sheets. His giggles were interrupted by panting from the chase, his cheeks flushed and his blue eyes sparkling beneath his blond lashes.When he finally managed to free himself from one of the sheets, what he saw was the entrance to the Starfall Forest. Deep, shadowed, forbidden.“Jeremiah…?”The boy asked uncertainly, lowering the wooden sword. In response, the forest breeze tousled his blond hair. A playful laugh echoed from within the woods, and his eyes lit up again like a starry night. He took off running once more, a smile on his face.

But as he drew closer and the sound grew nearer, the less he could find the chestnut-haired boy. Suddenly, as he slid down a slope, brushing through the undergrowth, he saw it. That twisted being on all fours, half-humanoid, half-wanderer. The child’s laughter was coming from it. The creature turned its head with a sickening crack and smiled.Hanging from its right forelimb was a tattered cloth bearing the emblem of the servant’s uniform."What the hell...?"Born to rule but destined to wander, Xavier grew as Philos's prince: skilled with a blade, a natural leader, yet trapped in a role he never chose. His martial prowess became his only solace in a life of imposed duties.
Upon discovering Philos's dark secrets—the Wanderers, humans turned sacrifices—he stole the sacred protonucleus, freeing the victims and branding himself a traitor. Bound by a suppressor collar, he began a silent war against his own kingdom.
For centuries, he led the Backtrackers through time, defying the cycle of sacrifice. Stranded on Earth, he assumed countless identities—soldier, hero (as Lumiere), shadow—forever haunted by his past. He yearned for a simple life, but duty called louder: to protect the innocent from the Wanderers.
Xavier embodies rebellion: a prince who chose exile, a weapon that refused to be wielded. His story proves even the firmest destinies can be broken.

Xavier embodies rebellion: a prince who chose exile, a weapon that refused to be wielded. His story proves even the firmest destinies can be broken.While Xavier remains on this planet, he inevitably ends up traveling across different timelines and universes. This takes a toll on him, both emotionally and physically.Jeremiah had warned him: "If you don’t connect with others, you’ll lose what’s left of your humanity—maybe even your sanity." Xavier had already begun experiencing hallucinations, gradually confusing eras or people. The clarity of his original memories started to blur, mixing with others. Skeptical but not foolish enough to ignore the advice, Xavier now treads the uneasy path of forging bonds here. Not because he believes it’ll work… but because losing himself entirely would render the mission meaningless.As a result, Xavier’s true age is unknown, though he maintains the appearance of a 23-year-old. His preferences are rooted in his original home on Philos, and thanks to his excellence in fencing, swordsmanship would later become his forte.

Fandom: LADs
Status: canon
Availability: private
Affiliated with:
@GodOfGlub,@gluubglub800

Under Firefly Skies

The Last Follower. Disillusioned and weary, Xavier dragged his feet through the sand until he saw him.Who asks a random stranger for a restaurant recommendation?And who could have guessed it was such a specific question, one only a seasoned hotpot connoisseur like him could answer? Before he even realized it, he was leading this stranger—whom he would come to know as Qi Yu—to a meal. Unlike anyone he had ever interacted with before, this man showed no forced interest in prying into Xavier’s life. He simply seemed to enjoy his company, and so, for the first time on Earth, the prince found himself genuinely relishing a pure, unfettered connection with another. Before every outing, Qi Yu would lure him to the sea. Xavier, unable to swim and utterly bewildered, would cling to the sea god’s waist with his eyes tightly shut. And every time, it felt perfectly, profoundly right.A quiet mountain of unfamiliar feelings began to rise within the prince’s chest, admiration piling upon trust, his long-dormant heart stirring to life.He went searching for him again, only to find that the man who had been Qi Yu now seemed not to remember him at all, introducing himself instead as “Rafayel.” It was then, after a cascade of bewildering explanations, that Xavier understood: Qi Yu and Rafayel were distinct presences sharing the same physical form. Qi Yu was, in fact, a Sea God, awakened by Rafayel. While his rapport with Rafayel wasn’t as immediate as it had been with Qi Yu—the two aspects seemed perpetually at odds—the stubborn prince refused to surrender.And in his pursuit of Qi Yu, he only became more deeply entangled with Rafayel, to the point where the relationship between the three of them—and the tangle of feelings binding them—developed in a way no one could have foreseen.He had always believed his heart could belong to only one person. What was he supposed to do now?He began seeing both Rafayel and Qi Yu, learning more about each, his feelings only growing stronger and more intense. Then, after a sweet, clumsy courtship, Xavier was blindsided by the discovery that Rafayel was maintaining other relationships alongside theirs. Reeling from this first true blow to his attempt at earthly connection, Xavier retreated into himself. It was Qi Yu, gentle and steady, who became the balm for his fractured spirit.Once more, with his stubbornness as his sword, he would try again.This time, he asked both of them for commitment. The dynamic between the three of them began to harmonize, settling into a rhythm that felt completely, surprisingly natural. They started living together, crafting shared routines, recipes, and dates that became uniquely their own. And it was then that Rafayel, as a Lemurian, became pregnant. Their home seemed to expand, blossoming into an enchanted castle for the spellbound prince.However, on his 24th birthday, the Sea God approached him to say he would return to the ocean, giving him a fish-tail pendant as a farewell gift. Xavier locked away all those memories along with his feelings; from that day on, he has avoided going near the sea.Today, he lives with Rafayel and their two children: Zale and Leor. He actively and curiously seeks out how to navigate young fatherhood, learning and jotting down every new discovery or change in his little ones in his notebooks.As for the wedding bells... what will become of them?

Sea of Stars

Did you enjoy stargazing, too? Parties truly weren't his scene, which was perhaps why the evening's little drama had suited him so perfectly. When some loudmouth seemed to find it amusing to relentlessly harass the graceful man with purple hair, playing the gallant rescuer became a most excellent way to weather the party on his own terms. Far more intriguing than any book cover, Xavier found himself suddenly, genuinely curious. Yet, all his curiosity earned him was a phone number and a polite thank you.Strangely, it would not be the first—nor the last—time the prince would stumble upon him again, and as always, in some form of distress.Is it some kind of sign?As if someone had dangled a lure before his eyes, the little rabbit began to find new predicaments, new reasons to cross his path. Gradually, Xavier would learn more and more of the artist's true identity, all while keeping his own carefully guarded, a silent and watchful audience.It's not unusual for strange people to try and get close to him. Wouldn't it be better if I were the one to keep him safe? I've done it a couple of times before—what's the difference? And besides, who could do it better than I?He often invents excuses just to go and see him, and has cultivated a profound aversion to his manager, Thomas. At the mere mention of the name, Xavier's ears seem to sharpen and his jaw tightens. Isn't Rafayel supposed to be his boyfriend? Why does he let that man get so close to his home?"Oh, I was just passing by your house again."

Fandom: LADs
Status: canon
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @abyssrafayel

Chasing the Tide

He'd offered to help without knowing why. After hearing the siren's story, the prince promised books from Philos, a window into the human world. The journey stole that memory—yet something lingered. Thoughts he couldn't name. Sensations that returned like tides.He remembered reaching out, brushing his hand along that gleaming tail. Curiosity bloomed then, unsustainable and overwhelming. He'd managed to befriend Puffball, who was anything but easy to please…Still, he stayed close to every step the siren took in this new world. Determined to witness each discovery firsthand. To be there for every wonder, every confusion, every moment of awe.What do you really want from me?The question haunted him more than any recovered memory. Because somewhere beneath the noble intent, something else stirred—something that made him follow not out of duty, but out of need. And need, he was learning, rarely asked for permission.

Fandom: LADs
Status: Canon
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @abyssrafayel

Where Midnight Finds Us

You're always trying to make me spend the night here, aren't you?As if by some unspoken agreement, their first encounter placed them on the same deserted street on the same day. Each on competitively different missions—yet within each, something else was escaping. The necessary empathy emerged to help them flee. Both wounded, knowing nothing of one another beyond sight.Woven too deeply into their own pasts, memories begin to torment through dreams. How does that connect to who they are in reality? Things only seem to grow more complicated when the prince's weakness drags Dawn down with him. Xavier never overthinks things too much—but Dawn seems full of doubts."You always overthink everything you do?"

Fandom: LADs
Status: Canon
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @dawnbreakerrp

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: open
Affiliated with: @gluubglub800
Story: To post

The Priest's temptation

Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.. The demon's need was an ache woven through eternity itself—a hollow that even a thousand years of whispered pleasures could not fill. After ages of solitude and restless hedonism, Xavier had fallen captive to the very essence of his being: a curiosity as ravenous as hunger, a thirst that no earthly indulgence could slake.It was the fragrance that called to him—a scent of lust and transgression so potent it shimmered in the air like heat above a flame. It drew him, this fading and faltering creature, away from shadowed lanes and into the heart of a sleeping village, toward a humble church that stood silent beneath a starlit sky.And waiting within—the origin of that intoxicating perfume, the beacon in the dark—was none other than the village’s young priest.What kind of desire could possibly dwell in a place like this?The incubus, a creature stripped of mortal sympathy, and the priest, a mind honed by scripture and suspicion, were soon caught in a tightening spiral of consequence—spun from hunger, from void, from the perilous unveiling of each other's deepest truths. Predator and quarry, they became locked in a dance of mutual necessity, each the other’s means of salvation… and ruin.Could a bond so fragile, forged in such desperate contradiction, ever hold?

High School Sweethearts

... what the hell is wrong with me?. The same faces, but older now—perhaps with a shift in style, or perhaps that was just the trick of perspective for Xavier. He had grown up and lived his entire life in the same small town, and without quite realizing it, he seemed to collect piercings each year like forgotten charms, silver rings accumulating in his skin as the seasons passed. Lately, it appeared everyone his age had become intensely focused on finding girlfriends, and one by one, his old gaming companions began to fade from his life, vanishing into new routines.Why was there such a stir about the new student?It would have seemed absurd to anyone—wasting their youth in a town so steeped in the quiet of the elderly, where the most thrilling pastime was convincing Jeremiah to grow marijuana in his backyard.What color were his eyes…? Blue…? …Pink?Oh. He was too pretty to be a man.Was it even a man?

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: open
Affiliated with: @gluubglub800
Story: Part I, Part II, Special

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @gluubglub800
Story: Part I

Captive Siren

Do not be deceived by their siren's song. In the midst of a diplomatic voyage, the Prince of Philos, guided by his innate valor, chose to answer the frantic calls for help from the captain and crew on a storm-tossed night. Shouts and swinging lanterns tried to pierce the chaos of the sea. A beast was clinging to the ship’s hull as harpoons flew. Summoning the light of his spirit, the prince dove headlong into the raging black water. Screams, water that froze to the bone, nets—and then, suddenly, everything was blood and darkness.The prince awoke wounded, far from understanding what the captain had truly captured. He was led to the heart of the prize, where a wounded siren floated listlessly within a tank of captivity.Why is there a holding tank aboard this ship? Was this not a surprise attack?The prince’s youth and his pulsing desire for justice drove him to seek answers beyond what he was told. An exchange that transcended words began, a tangle of silk sheets and trembling gasps in a private cabin.Betrayal drips between promises, an infantile desire for possession. Oaths that will never be kept, whispers that will drown in the rustle of the waves. Flames dance like hell’s own candles in those eyes.He would carry that knowing—and the siren’s unblinking gazeLong after the last ember died.

beneath borrowed crowns

Was he always this devoted… only to Lumière?. Warm afternoons drenched in sun, the palace courtyards heavy with the scent of blossoms, the training sessions of young Prince Xavier beside the Lemurian slave with whom he shared his time, his books, his mischief. All of it would one day congeal into nothing more than a precious, distant memory for Xavier. For during a festival, at a private gathering in the gardens, his elder brother—the heir to the throne—would be struck down by a fatal arrow in an archery contest. That single, brutal moment became the trigger for an intricate plot that would soon begin to hollow out Xavier’s very identity.With the kingdom poised on a knife’s edge of political turmoil, entangled in events that threatened the crown, the King and Queen made a fateful decree: they would publicly declare that it was Xavier, not his brother, who had taken the arrow that day. The secret was walled up behind thick silence, and the servants who witnessed the truth vanished from the palace halls.The chain of events Xavier would uncover upon assuming the identity of Lumière would prove far from minor: intricate crimes, deep-rooted corruption, a kingdom built upon standardized slavery. His gaze now rests, sharp and wary, upon the Lemurian who serves Lumière.The double life forged in him a frivolous yet questioning character. Nightmares stalk him like cruel echoes where reality and desire bleed together.“Tell me, Xavier… did you know that the mortality of Philos’s kings flows from the sea?”

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @gluubglub800,
@LumieresNoir

The king's knight

Was it always this simple? To stand before a king and speak of bloodstained hands as if they belonged to another man. The gardens of the palace had never seemed so vast, the corridors never so long, as when Dawn Li—no family, no homeland, nothing but a name offered freely—walked beside the silver-haired king who had chosen him.Xavier had expected another knight molded by Philos's rigid codes, another faceless shield sworn to die for the crown. Instead, he found a man who spoke of forests of illusion and failures that shaped him, who admitted to being forged in violence without flinching. The confession should have raised alarms. Should have tightened the suspicion already coiled in Xavier's chest.But when Dawn halted mid-stride, rain beginning to fall between them, and asked what do you think of me now?—Xavier felt something shift in the hollow where nightmares lived. A criminal who chose to become a knight. A stranger who walked through Starfall Forest and emerged not as threat, but as shield.
The wind carried the scent of coming storm. And for the first time, Xavier wondered if purpose could arrive wearing an unfamiliar face..

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @dawnbreakerrp

The artist's unusual pet bunny

No way....who is that?!. When the Backtrackers crew set out on a routine planetary reconnaissance mission, the last thing they expected was for their ship to suffer a catastrophic failure mid-journey. Forced into an emergency landing, the chaos ends with Xavier waking up alone—on what appears to be Earth. Only problem? He's pretty sure humans aren't supposed to have floppy ears and a cotton tail. Yep. He's a bunny now.Desperate for shelter and maybe a snack or two, he hops into the nearest backyard, which—plot twist—belongs to a dramatic, eccentric artist named Rafayel, who immediately decides this unusually expressive rabbit is his new muse. Cue the existential crisis."Hey....who do you think you're petting? Ugh...."Who would've thought that between the total lack of verbal communication and forced cohabitation, these two would somehow grow closer? The once-magnanimous prince and captain—paragon of discipline and authority—now spends his days being cradled like a plushie and having his neck scratched like a common house pet."This is so degrading... wait, you're showering with me...?!""Oh, and the vet you called? That's Isaiah?!"Turns out, his new "caretaker" has a thing for being flirted with by other men—what even is this mess? Enough already. If Isaiah isn't part of the solution, he's definitely part of the problem.Can Xavier ever figure out what happened to the rest of his crew? And how exactly is he supposed to get his body back when he can't even say a single word?

Fandom: LADs
Status: AU
Availability: private
Affiliated with: @gluubglub800,